I haven't been here in a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long while, although possibly not quite that long. I doubt you give a crap, being non-existent, but it felt like I was forgetting to do something, and so I apologise. To me, mostly.
What have I done in the interim?
Well, I've bought the Avengers Boxset (six post 2000 films concerning the avengers, namely Thor, Captain America, The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man, Iron Man II, and Avengers Assemble), The Hunger Games, The Prestige, Paul, Resident Evil Afterlife, and a bunch of other films which don't really stick in my head because they were either a) crap or b) so good that I watched them a gazillion times (5-9) and now feel like I was watching them when I came out of the womb. Which brings me to another point. I watched Les Miserables at the cinema a couple of weeks ago, and after twenty-odd minutes of thinking it was really not worth the admission, my Y chromosome degenerated and escaped in large liquid globules from my tear ducts.
The reason this is related to the womb comment is because a friend and I, in our feminised (or hyperfeminised, in her case) state, decided that children should all be born watching Les Miserables to accelerate development of the super-ego and therefore spare them from a life of regretting the things they did before they learnt that they were wrong, and allowing them instead to grow up as truly good people.
I may still feel this way.
In other news, my Y chromosome is slowly re-spawning, and I am avoiding all rom-coms, soft dramas and heart-wrenching soliloquys (i.e. any moment from either Wit or the last few pages of Othello), in order to get it up and running before there are any further threats to its existence. I'm all for breasts, so long as they are attached to the bodies of people who are not me.
Also, I may have
a) a job which I now seem to hate and (due to issues with leave) may or may not still have in a month's time.
b) done an animation of the most crappy variety ever, which can be found here , for the wonderfully twisted synth-pop track "You Can Always Come Home" from Spray (see also www.spraynet.co.uk and www.facebook.com/spraynet ). Watch it, like it, and subscribe or whatever it is you non-existent blog reader types do.
c) started re-reading one of my short-ish stories (well, 50,000 words) to see if I want to send it to publishers and say PLEASE give me money so that I can afford a new laptop. And to move back out of my family home because frankly, there's only so much more I can take before I whine. Even more.
Anyway, back to the interesting thing (the music video), the song basically takes the point of your loved ones that, when you inevitably crash and burn, they'll be there for you. Some think it's sweet, I think it's a fair analysis of the absolute lack of faith family members tend to show (but hey, when I tried living alone I accidentally set fire to my bedsit).
The video takes to obvious extrapolation from my view, which is that your loved ones privately, possibly even subconsciously, want you to fail so that you'll come back to wherever they're being there for you. Because they feel invalidated by your absence. Which could be interpreted as a touching insight into the fragility of the human ego and the importance of stability in family and peergroup situations, but the video takes it to the absurd levels of the criminally insane.
I was given way too much creative license with this.
Anyway, once again, there is a crappy animated music video to a brilliantly twisted song here, and you should watch it. As many times as possible.
EDIT - oh, and just in case you suckers can't be bothered to hover your cursor over the word "here" and discover that it's a hyperlink, here's the video. And I can't remember how to spell embed. Which is a really weird looking word (unlike weird, which everyone says looks weird, but actually has a rather pleasing shape on the page).
