Je suis un volunteer... humide.

It's not in French, just so you know... and the title just means "I am a damp volunteer".

Which is true.

I've been volunteering lately... which for someone who is not naturally generous, is a big step.

And for someone who is generally a little bit scared of people (not pathologically), it's a VERY big step.

Well, not so much at Brent Lodge, the local (awesome) animal hospital. They have a fox that likes to sit in a little tree. Which is hilarious beyond compare.

As well as Brent Lodge, I've been a-volunteering at Barnardos (at least three days of actual volunteering, more than that including days going in as a volunteer and filling out the associated paperwork).

I've volunteered once at Age UK. Unlike Barnardos, they had me straight in doing stuff... which has its positives, in that you feel useful straight away, but also has its negatives, in that you're basically "Hi, I'd like to volunteer," and they're "Great, there's the toilet, there's the steamer, there's the till. Have fun!" and you're basically "AAARGH MY BRAIN IS MELTING!"

But with less teenagerish use of the word basically.

I think my feet have developed hypothermia, by the way. On the long (Well... fifteen minutes if you are a normal person, six if you're me) walk from Barnardos to the train station, there was a thunderstorm. Which was awesome.

And the puddles had begun to join up into a meta-puddle.

Which was awesome.

And I was wearing converses.

Which was less awesome.

One train ride, Pasty, asparagus cup-a-soup and flop onto bed later, and my feet are distinctly chilly.

Which is irrelevant. But then so is this entire post.


But never mind, because my brain has fallen out and I've got to fill out an application form for the Co-op AND the (only?) registration form for Age UK before tomorrow...

Nergh. I'm going to play computer games now and panic about that closer to the end of today.

And... Finished! Huzzah!

So, having just complained that I am a flake that can't meet deadlines...

I've finished the Microeufs animation (Youtube viewing here ). I am awesome beyond compare, etc, etc, but I still have to go and sign on tomorrow and point out that the leaflet does actually say that volunteering is encouraged because it expands your CV.

Anyhoo, I'm going to make with the embedding (and quickly, because the internet will probably be turned off shortly):

Wahey, embedded!


It's simpler than the Merde song, also it's in English (by the way: Microeufs/Microeufs = Litigation avoiding term for the awesomeness that is Cadbury's Mini-eggs and also happens to fry my brain...)


That's all, folks!


Smivel.

Animation progress - with sneak preview/teaser

I don't work well with deadlines.


Not even self imposed ones.


I should have learnt this a while ago when working on the second in a (not really readable) sequence of books. I told the interested parties (although not very interested, as it turns out) that the second and final part would be done by march that year, because based on previous work and current rate of progress, that was when I expected to have it finished.

Six (or possibly seven) years later, I've lost interest, left it unfinished for two years, lost the file for another year and then found and deleted it. The awful first book remains the only one in its series, with no hope of being joined by any further drivel about angst, werewolves and space travel (I was a teenager. It happens to us all at some point).

The point is not the awful book. The point is deadline fail. .

When I finished animating the critically acclaimed (slight exaggeration for dramatic effect) foreign language short "That Merde Song" (here), which pokes fun at pop artists who sing in foreign languages by sounding like catchy eurotrash while being about a soiled bicyle, I assured the composer that I would have completed the animation for our second video within a couple of weeks.

This was not unrealistic. The second animation is infinitely simpler, consists of only three scenes and tends to have only one element moving at any given time (even if repeated). This is as opposed to the afore-mentioned That Merde Song, which consists of:

• A twenty second intro depicting two dung flies discoving that they were made for each other only to have their hearts broken, Joss Whedon style...
• A twenty-four frame loop and a six-frame loop playing at different speeds for the first two choruses, including sixteen frames where a character's mouth in synched to the music, and several overlaid frames of an asynchronous villain character.
• A first verse divided into three scenes: a) a Lowry-inspired computer-generated cityscape with two moving characters, one of which sings; b) a close up of said character singing and c) a fairly awesome black-and-white parody of Munch's "The Scream", with one character singing.
• A second verse divided into three completely different scenes: 1) two rabbits discussing the title theme; 2) A theologically interesting meme-duck and 3) a character singing while being complimented by an ASDF-inspired stereotyped frenchman (Eiffel Tower included) who then starts smoking before the entire landscape is covered in custard.
• A third chorus integrating the six-frame loop and an asynchronous villain character.
• A short scene on the birth of a burlesque sausage (No idea why...)
• A final chorus set to a Clint Eastwood-esque Wild West showdown between singer and villain, including close ups of two very disparate weapons firing...

Point is, it wasn't simple.
Hence the underlining.

The current project (well, the main current project) is a much simpler hybrid of an ASDF tribute and a campaign for year-long access to Easter-themed Cadbury's Projects. It really should have been doable within a day. If my computer wasn't full up of 60GB or thereabouts of photographs, not to mention hundreds of redundant Windows features and several independent programs.

Even without that, a week was pretty generous. And I finished the main animations within that period (roughly). But the bookends have been stalling... stalling... stalling... and I've taken up Sporcle... and a wierd Risk-style game on my computer... and volunteering... and basically I've been doing everything and anything to put it off.

But, yesterday evening I felt like doing some animation.

And now it's almost finished.

And so, because you are my loyal nonexistent readers, I thought I'd give you a special sneak preview before it goes up on Youtube (whenever that happens). Sound effects and so forth still need a little work on their timing.

Enjoy this 15 second intro.

And if you work for Cadbury, tell them that I really like Mini-Eggs and want them all year round.

Smivel and spread the word that I am awesome beyond compare. For a flake.